Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Progeny

I’ve got nothing, nothing for you
All was spent for others’ care
I dug deep, but I am empty
And such mines are everywhere.
Every gem and golden nugget,
Every sonnet, every song
I have given to the children
So, pardon, if I’ve done you wrong.

I’ve got nothing, nothing for you
I have paid a pricey fare
To tread upon a different planet
View the castles in the air
And yet I do not regret it
Though in poverty, I leave —
Of more worth than what I’ve given
Are the gifts that I receive.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Time Flows

The clock pours out its empty string
Of numbers - stringing me along with
Promised meaning - meaning I will know
Where all these strings of numbers go

Time flows like everything else
So slowly - else I’m swept away when it
Move quickly - quickly learn to breath
Whether I’m drowning or dying for the water to seethe

The clock is a paradox of purpose
Self-trapping - when we purpose it not to
It’s freeing - freeing us to learn to live
With the contradictions that its numbers give.

Friday, May 8, 2015

Naptime Reflections - Missing My Makeup

For me, this is a season of sacrifices. Most often they are little sacrifices, but they really challenge me nonetheless.

Yesterday I was telling my husband that it feels like I haven't put on makeup since my first daughter was born in 2012. With two littles, I've pushed doing my hair and makeup every single day to a pretty low spot on the priority list. I do miss having the extra time to do it - it's a wonder what a straightener or a little powder can do to make a woman go from feeling frumpy to fabulous.

There's a real tension here, because we obviously shouldn't be relying on makeup to make ourselves feel good, or in an attempt to impress others. In addition, the Bible says to let our beauty be of the inward variety. At the same time, that doesn't mean there's something inherently wrong or sinful about a little honest primping. We just have to make sure we have the two types of beauty rightly ordered in our minds.

Anyhow, these are just some thoughts I've been batting around. Agree? Disagree? Beauty can be a sticky subject...but maybe it doesn't have to be. I just haven't solidified all of my thinking on it, yet.

All that to say, maybe at this time of life I'll just have to be content with having washed my hair and put on chapstick... :)



Tuesday, May 5, 2015

Naptime Reflections - Feelings & Hard Things

I had a great conversation with my mother-in-law about hard things. Hard things like the death toll in Nepal. Hard things like loved ones going through a horrible struggle. You fill in the blank.

My mom-in-law works on Christian curriculum for orphans overseas. She's been to several countries and continents and seen the devastation in the children's lives firsthand. Being an emotional person (like I am), she talked about how hard it is not to take work home with her, and go to pieces over the difficulty she sees in everyday life, not understanding why God allows it.

She told me, essentially, that she's learning that faith is an exercise of the mind. We have to discipline our mind so as not to let the feelings take over - not quash the feelings or pretend they aren't there - but to hang on tight to what we know to be true about God's character. It reminded me of something a Bible teacher shared with me in 6th grade (oh, so long ago).



It's the fact-faith-feeling train! Haha. But really, "fact-faith-feeling" is a pithy representation of an ordered way to think. It means that feelings should be in submission to what we know as fact (from Scripture) and what we hold to by faith. This is my personal lifelong challenge and - I suspect - a challenge for everyone at some point in their spiritual walk.